Christmas With The Lannisters
by LionessCersei
Summary: Cersei/Jaime Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Year's AU's set anywhere in various time periods from the early 1900's to the current time.
1. Christmas Eve 1983

**Year: 1983 Ages mid 30s for Cersei/Jaime Joffrey nine, Myrcella five Tommen three**

It was Christmas Eve and Jaime finally was getting around to wrapping all of the gifts he had bought. He wrapped Tywin's gift first, some Wham album, then Tyron's present which was front row tickets to see Duran Duran, then he wrapped Joffrey's GI Joe action figures, Myrcella's cabbage patch doll and Tommen's Garfield coloring book and last and definitely least, the tie he bought at the dollar shop for Robert.

Finally, it came time to wrap Cersei's present. Jaime ran his fingers through his mullet as he looked around at the huge pile of gifts he had gotten Cersei. He looked through them all and tried to decide which one to give her. Prepackaged heart-shaped cookies from Frey's Dessert Shop. Nah, those were too romantic of a gift to be given in front of others, Cersei he knew from experience would complain later that people might find out the truth about them if he gave her such gifts.

He looked at the other gifts, ruling them out one by one. A sexy nightie? That was definitely not appropriate for gifting in front of others. That would have to be given privately later that night when she snuck away from Robert. He quickly looked through more of the gifts. Handcuffs? Not appropriate either. Various sex toys? Also not appropriate.

He sighed and looked over at the two books he had gotten months ago. Books should be a safe gift to give. However, as he looked at the titles he knew he would have to give these books anonymously or face her wrath. For one was a book on signs you have an alcohol addiction. The other book was on how to break the said addiction. These he would have sneaked under the Christmas tree anonymously and hope that she would give them a chance.

Jaime looked over at the smaller remaining gifts. A very expensive heart-shaped emerald necklace, and a heart-shaped bracelet with their initials engraved (For private outings away from town). There was also a mixtape, with all of their favorite songs. All those gifts were however unfortunately far too romantic to be given in public.

He sighed inwardly knowing he'd have to head out soon on this Christmas Eve to get an appropriate gift.

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	2. Thanksgiving 1931

**Thanksgiving, 1931 Cersei/Jaime age early 20s (before Joffrey's conception) The great depression was in full swing and even the Lannisters are feeling the effects**

"I cannot believe Robert expects me to cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner!," complained Cersei to Jaime.

"It's unfortunate that you guys cannot afford to hire help anymore, but the economy is doing so poorly, everyone is having to make sacrifices. Tyrion even had to stop visiting his street women," replied Jaime sympathetically as the twins entered the mansion Cersei and her husband Robert lived in. Thankfully Robert was currently away on business, unfortunately, though, he would arrive home in several hours and would expect a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner.

"That disgusting little man should have never visited those whores in the first place!," replied Cersei with a disgusted face.

"Yes, well you know Tyrion." replied Jaime, "So what should I do?" he asked, changing the subject.

" As I said before, we have to cook a Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, biscuits, gravy, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie."

"Ok...how?" asked Jaime.

"I was hoping you would know how."

"How would I know?", asked Jaime, confused.

"Didn't you pay attention in any of those cooking classes father made me take?," asked Cersei scoldingly.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't find it as fun as you found the fishing and hunting lessons you took in my place," replied Jaime sarcastically.

"Well, it matters not, it can't be that hard. "

Two hours and several cookbooks later:

"There. Finally," Stated Cersei relieved. The turkey was stuffed and in the oven, the pie in the second oven, and the potatoes boiling on top of the stove. The rest would be started later.

"Yes, finally, now let's have some fun," stated Jaime smiling back at his sister.

"You don't think we should keep an eye on the food while it cooks?" asked Cersei.

Jaime and she looked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. As if they would ever miss an opportunity to have some fun. The two began passionately kissing and moved into the living room, tossing each other's clothes off along the way.

An hour and several orgasms later:

"Fire!" Cersei screamed as she came down from her orgasmic bliss.

Jaime glanced around and noticed the door to the kitchen engulfed in flames and half the living room on fire. Both twins had apparently been enjoying themselves so much that they had failed to notice anything amiss until the whole kitchen and half of the living room were in flames. Luckily the path to the door in the living room was clear. The path to their clothes, however, was not.

The two escaped fine, albeit butt naked. Both had no choice but to claim they were nudists. They were the talk of local talk radio for the next several months.

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	3. New Years' Eve 2016

**Thank you jeimyparedes for reviewing the previous chapter :)**

**Year: 2016 Age: 15**

It was twenty minutes until midnight and Jaime was saddened that yet again he would not be able to get a midnight kiss with his twin sister. In the past two years, their kissing had gone from rated G to PG to R, all the way up to X, but only in private. Cersei insisted they must be discreet and no one must ever find out as it would surely cause a scandal. It would ruin their father Tywin Lannister's political career as well as that of any future political career that Cersei would like to pursue.

Jaime, however, did not take her worries too seriously. After all, Trump had won the presidential election, thus Jaime was sure that sometime in the next eight years incest would be legalized. Nonetheless, he respected her right to privacy. He at least, however, wanted her there beside him when the clock struck midnight.

One problem, however, Cersei had escaped him some twenty minutes ago and was currently lost in the crowd. Jaime looked around the crowd, trying to spot where Cersei had escaped off to.

Finally, he spotted her. His anger and jealousy started to rear its head. She was talking with Rhaegar Targaryen, the host of this party and the man she had a crush on for most of her childhood. She looked to be flirting with him, and she was grabbing his arm and laughing shamelessly at something he had said. Jaime was relieved that Rhaegar at least looked rather bored and uninterested.

Jaime decided he was going to get revenge. He headed towards her.

"Excuse me, I need to speak with my sister for a moment." He said to Rhaegar, smiling kindly at him and hiding his rage.

"Surely it can wait, dear brother." Cersei, replied, smiling back oblivious to the social danger she was in.

"It cannot. It's rather urgent. Regarding a family matter." replied Jaime.

"It's okay, my lady, I best take my leave now." stated Rhaegar, politely bowing out.

"Did you hear that? He called me 'my lady'. stated Cersei dreamily to Jaime as Rhaegar walked back into the crowd.

"He calls every girl that. Come. It's almost midnight." stated Jaime, struggling to keep his temper in check.

"What family matter did you pull me away for? It had better be important," replied Cersei coming down off her lovestruck high.

"You'll see. Follow me." He replied grabbing her hand and pulling her upstairs. She had no choice but to follow or make a scene, and of course, she chose to follow. Jaime was sure he'd hear a mouthful later for this, but decided what he was about to do would make it all worth it.

He led her all the way to the mansions large balcony. "Jaime...this is where the couples go to have their midnight kisses. We shouldn't be here."

The large balcony of Targaryen Mansion had been known for years as the hot spot for new years eve kisses. Media wasn't allowed in, but most years some nobody with a hope at fame managed to sell some pictures to the tabloids. Boy, would they have a story to publish this...no next year if anyone managed to see them.

"Why would you bring me here? We should go back with all the singles. And what was that about a family matter?" stated Cersei, not suspicious in the least,

"It's kinda stuffy in there, I thought we could both use some fresh air. I'll tell you about the family matter after midnight, listen the countdowns beginning."

The two quickly became surrounded by couples and the balcony quickly became packed, Cersei would have had a very difficult time escaping. The Dj began the countdown and as he got to five seconds left, Jaime roughly grabbed Cersei to him and pulled her in for a kiss. To his surprise, she kissed him back. When she pulled away, however, she whispered angerly to him. "If anyone saw that you are dead dear brother."

To Jaime chagrin and Cersei's luck, the news of Senator Lannister's twins kissing each other was overshadowed by much bigger news from that night.

Also making the national news, President Trump was impeached after new years eve footage of him dancing with and kissing his Ivanka replica sex doll was leaked. He was quickly committed to a mental institution. Jaime realized this meant incest was not likely to be made legal after all in the next eight years. The only thing that kept Jaime from spiraling into a deep depression over the realization was the news that twenty-one year old Rhaegar was now facing charges for statutory rape after his wife Elia caught him taking advantage of fifteen-year-old Lyanna Stark.


End file.
